163. In the morning, I cant get up. I tried, but they wanted cash. - Jack London. Just as importantly, you can benefit from laughter in everyday situations. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. Or maybe, you just love cracking jokes and making people laugh. 232. I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. 'If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.'. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. I get it nowIm single because Im a superhero., See also: 140 Single Quotes For Instagram Celebrating Single Life. health is important. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. Stressed spelled backward is desserts. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. 143. I'm sorry, I have to quickly disable alarm level brown. 235. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. 73. 187. 3. 27. 2. Im thinking like a proton, always positive. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. We need to hear a pin drop. 1. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me. 151. Ill keep going forward even if my pants tear off. Even on my worst days, turning on some stand up immediately puts me in a better mood. If you feel like todays not your day and the best thing would be to stay in bed, Ive got something that will cheer you up. I will go out. 6. Share them with your friends and colleagues and make them smile too. Affirmations can either be written down, spoken out loud, or visualized in the form of a conversation between money and you. Dear Monday, my mama doesn't like you and she likes everyone. Alison Boulter. 106. Youre born free, then youre taxed to death. If you woke up feeling drained and blurry, these funny affirmations will boost your energy and get you ready to slay the day! My chins are a stairway to heaven. Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. 208. These little phrases can be said aloud or written down anywhere to remind yourself that everything will turn out okay. Be careful when you follow the masses. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. 72. In between, I am alive. The world needs people like me to keep things interesting! To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. I can have peace, even when people irritate me.. Who cares about the future? Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Mind blown! A backbone. 32. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. The world is my buffet, and my plate is ready to go. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? You were too lazy to read that number. Take a look! 201. 65. Affirmations are a powerful tool to overcome self-sabotaging thoughts and boost your self-esteem.
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