what happens when you stop chasing an avoidant

Aug 21 8 Things Insecure People May Need to Do After a Breakup Do Fearful Avoidants Want You To Chase? People with an avoidant attachment style have a deep-rooted fear of losing . You tend to avoid conflict or intimacy in relationship for fear of losing yourself in them. They think their ex didnt understand them and wasnt on the same page with themand that the only thing left to do is to distance themselves from their ex. Hence avoidant in this article can be used to refer to anyone who has been acting distant from you for no reason or avoiding you and failing to create a closer bond with you, despite your best efforts. They also like to be left alone and dont expect and want to be chased. If you were to flip the narrative and be the one to end all communication with an avoidant when they bring up the idea of being friends or remaining in contact, they have no choice but to view it as a form of rejection. Done chasing the avoidant : r/attachment_theory - reddit But when it comes to avoidants, they tend not to feel very motivated to invest. So, as weird as it sounds one of the smartest things you can do when you are in a relationship/going through a breakup with an avoidant personality is to let them feel how they want to feel. When you stop chasing an avoidant person, they slowly get used to life without you, sooner or later. If an avoidant loves you, rest assured that youll be the first to learn about it. It can be rather difficult to control yourself when a person who means a lot to you unexpectedly distances himself or tells you that you should take a break. The more you chase them, the more threatened they feel by attachment and intimacy. In other words, theyll do anything they can to uplift themselves and protect themselves. You will become a distant memory to them and their life will go on without you. Unfortunately, they withdraw from relationships or loved ones in an attempt to ease discomfort. I havent reached out,in any way really ,no calls or texts, just trying to give her space. Refuse to react and instead stand still with your arms by your sides and "be a tree." If you do this long enough, the dog will eventually calm down and lose interest in you. in. What Happens When You Stop Chasing an Avoidant. Learn how your comment data is processed. Create the space for them to come forward. If you want to get really technical we can even trace this back to their childhood. 17 signs an avoidant loves you (& how to date one) Someone with an avoidant personality disorder is someone who has a mental condition characterized by social anxiety, fear of rejection, and feelings of inadequacy in social situations. They basically dictate the flow of the relationship early on as expect their partner to act in accordance with their wants and needs. If you would like my personal help to get your avoidant ex back, check out my services page for more information on my email coaching package.

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